Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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