And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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