You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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