I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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