He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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