Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
