I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
