i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
