Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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