alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
