i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
