You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is my gift to your gina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
