some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
