That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
