I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
