Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
