i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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