i don't like sucking hair
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
