Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
