the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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