You're so nebulous sometimes
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize