I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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