I hate all girls vehemently.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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