Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
