just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
