I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
