My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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