i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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