i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We need to get me chipped asap
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
