The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
