I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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