New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He kissed a someone with a penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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