I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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