Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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