He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
