Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
