haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
