Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
