i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Less talking, more tequila
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
