It's like God shit irony all over that family
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
