just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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