hell yes lets make some ravioli
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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