These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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