the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
