Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
