i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
