WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
