"it" just moved
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
