let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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