Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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