Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I smell stomach acid.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
