not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize