aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
