Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
