If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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