Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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